The Newbie Guide to Sweden

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Parenting

Where do I shop things for babies and kids in Sweden?

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Shopping stuff for kids. Eeeerm? My son is almost three and when I got pregnant I was such a novice to all things pregnancy, baby and kid related. I’ve just not had that many kids around me and it wasn’t until I got pregnant that I realized that there is a whole world of things that babies and kids need that I had no clue about! And so at lot of manic googling started.

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I was born in Sweden so at least I had the advantage of doing my research in my native language, but if you are a newbie in the country on top of being a newbie parent – uff! So, here is a list of place to find things you may need for yourself and your child. And if you have any you’d like to ad – just do so in the comments and we will add them to the list.

Best in test

I am going to come out and confess – I am a bit of a control freak. Which means that I tend to read a lot of best-in-test websites. One that I like is simply called Bäst-i-test. It is in Swedish but has a huge parent/kid test section and it’s quite easy to get the results even in Swedish plus you can google translate the rest.

Second hand shopping for kids items

Another thing I quickly realized was that I bought way too much stuff and also that there is often little point in buying new things. Babies and kids in general grow so fast that clothes tend to be in really good shape even though they have a previous owner.

So before you go spending a months salary on cute little hats and shirts, make sure you check out second hand options.

  • Facebook Marketplace is a great place to look for baby clothes in your area.
  • Shpock is a pretty decent app and website where you can find sellers in your neighborhood.
  • Sellpy is my personal favorite. People can send their stuff of to Sellpy to be sold, they take pictures of it, sort the delivery and the returns and they mark all items according to a set standard of use. I started off buying baby clothes from Sellpy and now the entire family gets pretty much all their stuff from there. They sell more than clothes so if you have just moved to Sweden and are looking for things to your home – this is a good place to look.

Also when I became a parent it really hit me that what I do to the planet is going to affect my son many years after I’m gone. And if second hand shopping has some impact on what type of planet he gets to live on years from now – then second hand shopping is what I am going to do:-)

Places to shop new stuff for kids and babies

Now, if you can’t find what you are looking for in a second hand shop or if you are really against the second hand concept, then there are of course places for you to find things for your kid. There are of course a lot of physical shops all over Sweden but here we are focusing on online shops in order to cater to all our newbie readers regardless of where you live.

  • Clothes. Polarn och pyret* is another favorite of mine simply because their clothes last forever. I recently bought a winter overall second hand and there were FOUR other kids names in it. It had basically been worn by four other kids (at least) and it was still in such good shape that my child can wear it without getting wet or cold.
  • Name stickers. When your kids go to school or preschool, you are going to want name stickers! Filur namnlappar* is a big online provider of all types of name stickers. Or Namnlappskungen*. You can also get a special pen that doesn’t wash off. My child enjoys putting the stickers on, and he gets a bit of a pleased feeling when he sees “his” fox sticker on his clothes. Which is the main reason why I go with this option.
  • Baby buggy, baby carriage, baby stroller, buggy, stroller, pusher. Whatever you call it – you will probably be wanting one unless you prefer baby wearing at all times or have a baby buggy refuser baby. And if you do, you have my sympathies 🙂 Which type you prefer is really up to your life situation or preferences. Small and light or big with loads of room for bags etc. To be honest, I went with a second hand option here as well. A former colleague with bigger kids wanted to get rid of hers so I traded her the stroller, the sit up part, the lay down part and the car part for a few bottles of good wine. We were both happy 🙂 But here are some brands that are very common amongst new parents:
  • Toys, clothes, strollers and everything else. There are, of course, a number of online shops that have all you can think of baby and child related and that carry a lot of different brands as well as products. Just browse for what you need and do a general comparison on price and delivery options. Here are some options to get you started:

Ecological stuff

I also have to do a special shout out for some fantastic online and physical shops that cater a largely ecological set of products.

  • Nävatextil / Ekostextil is a massive favorite of mine. They have the cutest little felted wool overalls, soft and warm wool long johns, and onesies that are perfect for the cold weather. They are so nice, that both myself and my partner bought a set of long johns for ourselves 🙂 They are pricey but good.
  • Kokobello has a lot of ecological toys and tend to focus on open ended toys that keep kids entertained for a long time. Also, pricier than you find in the big online kid shops, but they have such nice things that are totally worth checking out.
  • Rekoshoppen focuses on toys that are totally free of chemicals. Both for little and bigger kids.
  • Ekobarn has only clothes, toys and other items that are ecological and/or GOTS marked. Nice slow fashion.

Further reading

We have a lot of blog posts on parenting and kids in Sweden. You can do a search on the website or get started with these ones:

Have I missed something? Let me know in the comments and we will check it out and perhaps also add it to the list.

Have a great day and a big hug to you all!
Julieta from the Newbie Team

Winter clothing for children

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Written by Asrini Subrata

It’s time for winter! Lots of children are expecting it enthusiastically as well as parents. They want to go out and play in the snow. But winter is not only about the feeling of snow falling from the sky. I am not trying to diminish your excitement, but in recent years it has been less snow for some cities in Sweden. Instead, you got a whole package of cold, wind and rain.

 

I came from a tropical country where we have only 2 seasons. When I moved here and got a baby I started to think (and a bit of worrying) on how to keep my kid warm and dry throughout the season. So many things to prepare!

The concept as you may well know is to make sure all parts of body is protected.

Clothing

The first layer is the cloth that will keep your child’s body dry. It can be something that is soft and comfortable for them to wear. The second layer is depending on the weather. If it’s really cold you can put something that can keep your child warm like sweaters or a thin jacket. The outer cloth is the one that will protect your child from any kind of weather.

For smaller kids, it’s good to use overall. The overall usually have a higher collar that you can tighten to protect the neck and hoody that you can just easily put over the head. These collars are very handy since using scarf can be dangerous for smaller kids. When it’s playing time, they might not notice everything surrounding them. There’s a risk of scarf getting stuck in any playground equipment and the risk of strangulation increases.

But if your child is older you may use the special jacket and pants that are designed especially for winter. These outer clothing should be waterproof, warm and give protection from wind.

Accessories

After you have all the main clothing ready, you need to prepare more equipment for your child. You may want to buy a hat to protect the child’s ears since they are really sensitive against the cold wind. They are usually designed with a bit of longer section to cover the ears. In addition to that, they usually have laces which you can use to tighten the hat under the chin. It can prevent the hat from falling since smaller kids are usually fond of taking the hat off from their head.

Don’t forget the gloves that will protect your child’s hands from being cold. Children are usually very curious about everything that is happening or existing around them and they want to touch everything that is new, even though it’s wet and dirty. Thus, it’s really good to have gloves that can withstand water and cold at the same time. Wet gloves can make their hands cold and freezing. Younger children usually wear mitten – a type of gloves which has 2 separate sections, one for the thumb and the other for the other four fingers.

Shoes

Children are really active. They want to walk, run, jump if they can regardless of the situations. It may be snowy and when mix with water, it can really be slippery and dangerous for them. Special winter shoes are made especially for this occasion because they are designed with traction that can prevent falls and injuries from slippery surfaces. It usually comes in a boot model. Some characteristics that you may want to consider when buying winter shoes are that it is recommended to buy shoes with warm material, waterproof, easy to put on, comfortable and flexible.

As you put on the shoes, don’t forget the socks. Usually, wool socks are pretty good for winter. But you also need to consider the shoes. If it’s already warm you might want to prefer thinner socks to prevent overheating on the feet.

All the above are the tips and considerations in choosing winter clothes for your children. So if all are set, your child is ready to go and have fun during the winter!

About the Author

Hi! I’m Asrini. I came from Indonesia and moved to Sweden in 2017 to be with my husband. In Indonesia, I was working in sustainability management and I enjoy reading about innovations that can help to create a sustainable future. In my spare time, I like to read books, watch movies and cook. I love travelling and while doing so I can enjoy local food and visit famous landmarks. I have a passion for architectural designs and I love to read about beautifully designed houses and buildings. Can’t wait to share some of my ideas and experiences and I hope that you enjoy reading my posts!

How to get a spot in a Swedish kindergarten

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Written by Marlene Laun

Sending you child or children to Kindergarten is a big step for you as a parent. Of course, you want to make sure to have the best one for your child. It is very important that you are happy with your choice because that makes it easier to “let them go”.

For us, it was a challenging situation because we moved from Australia to Sweden. In Australia childcare is very expensive so you can imagine that we were relieved when we found out that kindergarten in Sweden is monetarily supported by the government.

Good to know

  • You can start applying for a place when your child is born. Not before. 
  • Your child can start kindergarten when he or she turned one. 
  • You should apply at least 4 months before you need the place.

Now that we have covered the basics – let’s get into some details.

How does it work?

Generally, the application process is done online. So if you are living in Malmö (as we do), you have to go to “malmo.se” and apply there. 

On the start page, you see already the link to “förskola”. You will need to create a profile within the so-called “E-tjänst” which is like your personal account. If you cannot understand or follow all the steps, also no problem. Call the helpline and they will guide you through, also in English 😉

Once you are logged in you will find a map with all the different kindergartens in Malmö. You can choose up to 5 different public ones and prioritize them. Make sure you have done your research first before you apply. If you are also interested in a private kindergarten, that has to be done separately on their individual homepage but please keep in mind that they have sometimes very long waiting lists.

Once you have picked your favourites you will have to provide your and your children personal details, preferred start date etc. and then sign it at the end digitally with your personal ID number. You will get a confirmation e-mail in your inbox afterwards.

Important to know

Important to know is that it is not 100% guaranteed that you will get a spot in one of your top 5. In our case, the city council allocated a spot to a kindergarten that was not even on our list. But you can be assured that they will try their best. For us, that meant a kindergarten that just opened its doors, that has not even been on the list and is only 1,5km away from where we live. Yes, we inspected it before and talked to the staff there and looking back – we are happy with the place.

However, if you don’t like the kindergarten that was allocated to you, then don’t take it. But be aware that this could mean longer waiting time for your kid(s) to get a spot.

How long can your child go to kindergarten per day/week?

There are a few different scenarios. If you:

  • Work or study your child can go to kindergarten as long as you have to work/study per day.
  • Are on parental leave with a sibling the older child can go 30 hours per week for two months, after that 15 hours per week.
  • Study during parental leave, you can always increase the hours. Just talk to one of the teachers and they will give you a form to fill out. There you have to explain why you need more hours.
  • Are seeking for a job, your child is also allowed to go for 30 hours per week.
  • Need more hours because of special circumstances (e.g. psychological reasons).
  • Need night care or other special care. Just talk to the director or mention it beforehand on the application.

Costs per month?

This is depending on the earnings per household and how many children you have. If you have two or three children, the cost per child will decrease. Child number four does not cost anything. The youngest child is always considered “the first child” and therefore the most expensive. The maximum amount per child per month you have to pay is 1478 SEK.

What is included?

The childcare will provide breakfast, lunch and snacks. In case you have a younger one that is still wearing diapers, you will need to provide them. 

If your child is still sleeping during the day that is also no problem. In our case, the younger kids are sleeping outside under wind and rain covered area. They have special sleeping bags to keep them warm and cosy. In general, the kids here spend a lot of time outside, even when the weather is not so good but they have all special clothes so it’s actually no big deal…and the kids love it.

To be honest this was a little difficult for me to get used to because in Germany or Australia the children sleep inside and if the weather is not good they are also inside but in the meantime, I actually think that this is great and increases the strengths of the immune system, too. Our son was not really sick since we moved to Sweden.  

I hope my article gave you some insights into the Swedish kindergarten system. I wish you all the best and good luck in finding the perfect kindergarten for your little ones.

About the Author

I’m Marlene from Germany. I’m living in Malmö since April 2019 with my husband and two kids. We have also lived in Australia for three years. I love to get to know other cultures and countries and living abroad. Love to travel with my family, making memories, trying different food. I like to cook and bake. I share my impressions of Swedish culture and nature on my Instagram.

5 Tips for Moving to Sweden with Kids

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Created by Martha Moore

Whether you’ve purchased your plane tickets and started packing, or you’re just thinking about it, moving to Sweden is a big deal. If you have children, it’s an even bigger deal! I know because our family has been there. In August 2019, my husband and I hopped on a plane from New Jersey with a final destination of Malmö, Sweden. We had our 3 children along for the ride: our two daughters, who were 5 and 3, and a 2-month-old baby.

An international move is never easy, especially with kids. However, we did find some things helpful along the way, so I’d like to share them with you today. Here are 5 simple things you can do to make moving to Sweden with kids easier plus a useful resource to start learning Swedish.

Join International Facebook groups

The easiest way to learn about something new is to ask people who have already been there.

When we were still deciding if my husband was going to accept his new position with IKEA, we joined international family groups for Sweden on Facebook. Specifically, we looked for groups for Malmö, for families, and for moms who speak English in Sweden. This was a wonderful resource to ask any and all questions, but it was and continues to be, a great place to search past discussions and to see what questions other people are asking. Getting advice first hand from people who were in the same position as us put our minds at ease.

Research Fun Things about Swedish Culture and Learn Together

Since we were coming from the US, the Swedish culture and European lifestyle was completely different from what we were used to. Together, as a family, we researched and learned about all of the fun new customs, foods, and adventures we would have!

I bought the book My First Book About Sweden by Linda Liebrand for my children as a jumping-off point. We also did lots of Google searches on Swedish food (they especially were excited about kanelbulle), Swedish transportation (we traded cars for bikes, buses, and trains), Swedish holidays, Swedish school, and anything else that would impact their lives.

We enjoyed learning about things that were the same and different. I think it helped put our kids’ minds at ease and get them excited for the adventure.

Scope Out Park and Other Children’s Activities

Since we were moving to Malmö, the city of parks, we made a list of all of the amazing themed playgrounds we wanted to visit. Our kids were all very excited to start working our way through the list as soon as we arrived.

Since being outdoors and letting kids be kids is such an important part of Swedish culture, most areas have lovely playgrounds, parks, and other green spaces for families to enjoy. Finding some great play spaces right away will be a super helpful way to help your children with the transition.

It will also give you something fun to do as you recover from jetlag. A year later, discovering new parks is still one of our favorite Swedish experiences!

Sign Up for Activities

One of the hardest parts of moving to Sweden with kids is that they are likely leaving all of their friends behind. A great way to make new friends is to sign them up for an activity.

This allows them to spend time with children who enjoy the same things as them, gives them something fun to look forward to, and might help to give them a sense of routine and normalcy. It can also be a great way for you to meet other adults with children around the same age as your children.

Start Learning Swedish Together

Although most people in Sweden speak English, it’s very helpful to learn Swedish, even at a basic level. This will also help your children make friends, make it easier for you at the grocery store, and is another way to feel more connected with your new home.

Although we started learning some Swedish before we moved, over our first year, we tried to encourage our children to learn Swedish with us at home. If your children are in the Swedish school system, they will likely pick it up quickly. However, if they’re attending an international school like our children, it might take more time.

Some simple ways to practice Swedish are listening to Swedish children’s music, watching Swedish cartoons, and surrounding yourself with Swedish.

Learn Swedish with this 25 Swedish Vocabulary Resource!

To help with this, I’ve created a 25 Swedish Vocabulary (or Svenska Ordförråd) resource. You can print them and put them up in the corresponding room, or you can staple them or bind them in a book.

The pictures make it very child friendly, and it’s helpful for the adults as well! This is a great way to encourage everyone in the family to use more Swedish. The more you practice and get comfortable in the home, the easier it will be to use your Swedish with others.

As a Newbie reader, you can use the promo code NEWBIE40 to receive 40% off of this PDF resource, which you can find on my website right here.

Martha Moore

Bonus: Give Yourselves and Your Children Grace

One last bonus tip: give yourselves grace. An international move is a lot of things. It’s exciting, scary, and overwhelming. Some days will be really awesome, and some days will be really tough. Remember to give your children the grace and space they need to process the change, and give yourself the same. And, if all else fails, put on some kaffe, grab a kanelbulle, and enjoy a family fika.

Martha Moore moved to Mälmo in 2019 with her husband and three kids, who have opened up her eyes even more to the impact and importance of reaching and teaching little minds. She has a Master of Science in Teaching for Elementary Education and began her teaching career as a first-grade classroom teacher. She’s passionate about helping other teachers and parents by sharing ideas and resources through her brand Primary Paradise.

The Motherhood Maze

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Written by Letty

Reflections on Motherhood. If you have ever felt that your parental skills are questionable. Read this and feel better.

Why am I such a terrible Mother? I could shoot myself today, rip out my tongue and stick pins in my eyes. I just sent a text to my only child who is living very far away and it was totally misinterpreted.

My problem, not his. The morning started out well with an unexpected call from my child. Our communication pattern is erratic but, given that communication is not, generally, a male strong point, it’s acceptable. Who am I kidding? I want to speak to him every day, I want to live in the same country as him, I want to meet him for coffee, drinks, I want to, I want …

STOP BEING A MOTHER!!!

Rewind, listen, don’t have opinions, listen, support, be careful with your words and you might just get through the motherhood maze.

I am reminded of the story of the man with the tin plate. This was a jolly tale relayed to me by my own father. It goes like this. A son and his father are sitting by the roadside. The son takes some food from his sack and the father produces a tin plate which had been attached to his belt.

“Why do you always carry around that plate father ?”, asks the exasperated son.

“My father gave it to me, son and I am going to give it to you so that you, like me, can carry it as a reminder.”

“I have plenty of plates”, replies the testy son. “Typical that all I’m getting from you is a tin plate. My mate got a house. Anyway, what does it remind you of and what do you think it could possibly remind me of? Are you totally losing it?”

Silence ensues wherein the father looks, knowingly, at his son.

“My father gave me this plate 50 years ago. Like you, I sat on this roadside beside him. He passed me the plate and I will never forget his words, just as you will never forget mine.”

“You think?”, replies the rolling – eyes son.

“Son, he said to me, hand this plate to your son as it is the plate that my father handed to me just before I dumped him in The Home.”

Now I don’t know exactly where I was going with this or why but it has something to do with the circle of life or maybe that is The Lion King. Anyway, the point is that your children don’t see the generational connection. They always remain your children but they, themselves, move from this need.

This is where parental caution is required. One thoughtless word spoken or texted in haste can lead to months of silence. Years if it is a daughter. I do try very hard to get this right. Occasionally I mess up.

So, today my child was explaining how desperate the global situation looks for his generation, how the present is truncated and possibly the future as well. The generation of young people in their 30s + has it rough. There is no doubt that it will get even rougher. Being in the Hospitality Industry is always challenging, being in the Hospitality Industry during COVID-19 is a nightmare and, of course, the COVID Madonna, the recession, is starting to hit.

Pair all that with the climate, the war games, the real wars, the threat of impending, even more destructive, viruses and the future looks bleak indeed. Just call me Nostradamus.

I was part of the privileged generation. We had grants for education, no loans to pay back. We had free, good medical and dental care. We got unemployment benefit without having to undergo a Rorschach test.We could live apart from our parents unless, like me, you were somewhat Oedipal but that’s another story.

OK, it did take a turn for the worse in the 80’s what with Thatcher and the recession but even then there were job opportunities and you weren’t financially abandoned by the Government. Now if you live in Belfast, as I did, it was a bit tougher because we were killing each other but still… We also got pensions. No wonder our offsprings take a jaundiced look at us. I am not happy to be wrinkly and aged but I would have no desire to be young now.

My son at 33, has worked harder in his life than I ever have in mine. What will his reward be? An uncertain future in a chaotic world? A body which, as a result of relentless physical and mental work, could let him down when he needs it most and where is the safety net then? We are facing a crisis such as none of us have ever lived through. Thanks to Globalisation we are all globally screwed and our children will be the ones who will pay.

Back to the Mother thing. It does intrigue me how the umbilical cord is never really cut but I think this is our fault for having a womb in the first place. I suppose I shouldn’t reveal this but who cares? It’s a blog and nobody reads it anyway. It does feel a bit of a betrayal of my much-loved son BUT I never really wanted children. I never felt the biological imperative or the broody thing that conjures up hen- like images. It was an accident and, yes, I did consider an abortion. So there! It was, however, in a life full of monumental errors, the best mistake I ever made. Without doubt. The medical term assigned to me, erroneously as I later discovered, was Elderly Primagravida. That would make you feel good wouldn’t it? This was the 80’s and nobody gave a shit about how you felt.

#heres10krcallsomeonewhogivesaf*ck

However, I was only a young thing of 30, not 35 so they shouldn’t have used that label. I heard it so often that I began to think it was my name. Like I say, who cared? Not even me.

The best thing that ever happened in my life was the result of a very drunken encounter with a diaphragm and enthusiastic use of spermicidal cream. The diaphragm is a diabolical method of contraception and I think its design is based on the Casanova half a lemon method, although I could be wrong.  For the fortunately uninitiated, let me briefly explain the theory. Diaphragms or caps come in different sizes so, in some cases, you may have to carry out the procedure with something resembling a yarmulke.

Step 1: Make the cap into a figure of 8. Yep you can see how this could all go badly wrong if the user is, as was in my case, any way impaired.

Step 2: Apply spermicidal cream cautiously ensuring that the outside of the cap is covered.

Step 3: Whilst propping up one leg, insert cap fully into the vagina.

Step 4: If still awake, enjoy rampant sex with partner.

Here’s how it went for me on a chilly January eve when I decided to throw caution to the winds, thereby gifting the world endless culinary delights. After all who gets pregnant the first time? Right? WRONG. The irony of me is not lost on me that part of my work at that time was teaching sex education

Steps1,2,3: I had been celebrating my 30th birthday and entered the torture chamber at 4 a.m. I had been drinking for approximately 10 hours. Figure of 8??? I located the cream and applied liberally with no sense of caution. As a result of this abandon, the cap was extremely difficult to keep a hold of. I squished it into a figure that is indescribable and propped up my leg on the claw foot bath which was raised off the floor. Just as I was about to go where only one man at this stage had gone before, it shot out of my hand and slithered under the bath. I attempted to retrieve it and, on the extraction of the dust-covered article, banged my head on the bath, rendering myself temporarily unconscious. Brain impaired, I then vigorously engaged in Step 4.

10 months later, the joy of my life was born. I remember thinking that birth was a bit like death. There was no way back after a certain point.

It was not an immediate bonding as we both suspiciously eyed each other. I made frequent use of the night nursery and I also caused great disdain by refusing to breastfeed. I was already shaping up to be a Bad Mother. Another benefit of our generation was that you were not kicked out the day after, clutching your child with one hand and your stitches with the other. By the time I left the hospital, I was in love, depth and ferocity of feeling which I had never experienced before and which never diminished. All my worst fears had been realised. From now on my life would never be my own and my continued existence would totally rely upon the vagaries of this 8llb and 4oz beautiful individual.

I never clipped his wings but I am sure I have, unintentionally, supplied him with material for Therapy. In my heart he is eternal, in my mind, he is 7. In reality he is his own man but at least he hasn’t given me the tin plate. YET!

Letty’s bio
New
Born in 1957 when dinosaurs roamed the earth and televisions were black and white.
Still New
Teenage years.  Counting pimples, writing valentine cards to myself, dodging bombs in war torn Belfast.  Waiting to be invited to the party.
Newish
Adulthood.  I am the party.  Developing a talent for addiction, unfortunate choices  and bad hairstyles.
Discovering that work is a necessary evil and that marriage is a life sentence without the satisfaction of murder.
Embracing contraception with enthusiasm until a dodgy diaphragm left me embracing my son.
Counting  wrinkles.
Renewed
No more work
No more husband
No more Belfast
Much more Stockholm
Much more love
Much more me.
SLUTET

Parenthood in Sweden: Birth and early years

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Written by Tatiana Sokolova

Have you recently moved to Sweden or planning to do so, and wonder what parenthood here will be like? Or have you been living here for a while and are planning to have children? Are you an immigrant parent in Sweden with a young child and wonder what other parents in your situation experience? This article is for you.

This is the second half of the article on Parenthood. Read here about expecting a child in Sweden.

Delivery: Err on the side of ‘too late’ and expect surprises

Again, the ‘ta det lugnt’ principle is fully operational, and on many different levels.

First things first: expect surprises. I had signed up for a certain hospital to give birth in (you get to do it at one of the midwife visits). I thought about it at length and chose it very carefully. But when I had to go, I was dispatched to another one. On the other side of the city.

The system is, when it’s time to give birth, you call a number they had given you, and they tell you where to go. Your first choice may simply not be available, and they send you somewhere else.

Thankfully, the ‘caller’ was my husband, tack och lov, and he had to manage the logistics. And funnily, at that point I couldn’t care less where to go. The only thing I was afraid was that, when we get there, they’d tell me to go back, because it was too early.

So I made sure that it wouldn’t be the case – I waited as long as possible. It was quite some exercise of ‘ta det lugnt’ – but I managed not to rush it. And luckily, my mother was there to help me with that.

You can take two people with you

I ended up in Södrasjukhuset, which was the opposite side of town for me, and a place I knew nothing about. And as I said, I couldn’t care less. It became a place I have the warmest feelings for, and I will always remember the first person who ever held my child – barnmorska Lena. (No, my memory for names isn’t phenomenal – I have a ‘cheat sheet’, a little card you get upon the delivery, where these things are written down, for you to cherish forever and ever, amen. But I do remember her voice.)

In Sweden, you can take two people with you, and in my case it was my husband and mother. Again, childish need to have your mummy there to hold your hand. Even though my mum is heroic, I regret subjecting her to this ordeal. If I were to do it again, I’d find a doula instead and let mum ta det lugnt at home.

However, it’s really great to have a team of grown-up people who can think clearly when you can’t, and who can replace each other when the other gets exhausted (I found the whole experience was much more exhausting for them than for me).

They let you give birth to your child more or less in peace

And this is what I love about Sweden and the key ‘feature’ of this country which would make me choose giving birth here again and again, in favour of most other countries. They actually let you be, for the most part. But they are there to support and intervene if needed.

I was by no means alone, as I had my family there. I felt like a midwife was there with me all the time, but I know it’s not the case. In fact, the team of midwives changed somewhere along the way. I was so afraid of that happening, I had wanted the same person to be with me the whole way – and now I cannot fathom why. I hardly noticed, as they were all great, and the transition was seamless. The embodiment of ‘lugnt’ and ‘lagom’. Professional and supportive.

I wouldn’t say that they were not proactive. In other words, I wasn’t left completely to my devices. I felt at some point I had again exceeded my quota of hospitality, or maybe it just was the right thing to do, I don’t know, but I had an epidural – which I had wanted to avoid, and which I knew is not routinely common in Sweden.

I had been terrified by all the horror stories of side-effects of having one. In my case, there were none. Puff of smoke, a doctor appears with a syringe, and puff – he goes. Was there a doctor, or did I imagine him? And then I had my baby.

They let you bond with your baby

Even more, they encourage it. Delayed cord clamping, putting the baby on your tummy, all that jazz. No silly business of taking the baby away, giving the poor thing dozens of shots and so on. They give a vitamin K injection, and they weigh and measure the baby at some point, but either they do it all while s/he is lying on your tummy, or later. I don’t remember ever being separated from my child, even for a second.

You stay in a five-star hotel

You and your partner stay in a patienthotel for up to three nights, with full support, and delicious food. Ok, it’s not five-star – but with all the endorphins in your bloodstream, it feels like it is. You pay a nominal fee for it. (In 2017, I paid 80 SEK and my husband around 300 SEK per night.)

You receive no hefty bill the morning after the party

… apart from the said fee for patienthotellet, which doesn’t even probably cover all the meals, the delivery is completely free of charge. When I think of how much I would need to pay for this type of fiesta in some other countries, I feel entitled and overindulged. The epidural alone in the US, for example, costs more than 2000 USD.

The post-natal care

The first weeks with a newly born baby are tough, as anyone would tell you, and it is especially tough if you have no family support. I was lucky to have my mother around, my husband and some amazing friends, and yet the path was very far from smooth.

However, that is my personal experience, and it doesn’t have to be that way. In any case, this has nothing to do with which country you are in – just that if you are a newbie in a country and don’t have enough community, it may be especially difficult to be a newbie parent to boot.

You get a visit from the barnsköterska in the first couple of days, and then you visit the Barnavårdscentralen quite often in the first few months. If needed, you get support with breastfeeding. You also answer a bunch of questions to check if you have depression. I lied to every one of them. I guess if I hadn’t they would have helped me in some way to have fewer blues.

Vaccinations

We had a lot of debate over vaccinations (gravitating towards the ‘natural health’ side, we agonised over the pros and cons of doing them), but in the end, we decided to do all of them, including one against tuberculosis which is offered to all children who travel to countries with high tuberculosis rate.

What I liked was that we were not pushed into the vaccinations, we felt it was a choice, and we managed to delay it. Also, in Sweden, the approach to vaccination is (you guessed it) lagom. They don’t overdo it.

The main factor in favour of the vaccinations for us personally was that we did travel A LOT with our son from two months of age, and were planning to continue to do so. Another factor was that when we were in Russia, I realised how incredibly difficult it was to find a place where you could give him a HIGH QUALITY vaccine (to say nothing about the price, the queues, and the weird attitude).

In my city, it was almost impossible. So when I came back to Sweden, I felt like it was a luxury to pop into our BVC and get the best TB vaccine on the market, free of charge and (for us) free of side-effects (he doesn’t even have a scar). This sounds funny coming from a person who is not a fan of vaccines at all.

Enjoying Sweden with your child

I am still amazed at how easy it is to have a small child in Sweden. It seems the motto for early parenthood here is ‘smoooooth eeeeease’. First of all, the child is seen as part of society, not as something to be isolated (together with their mum).

At some workplaces, they roll strollers into meetings. Every museum and library, and many other public places, have a special area for kids of all ages. The playgrounds are all up-to-date. You can smoothly roll your stroller into and onto almost anything.

I get pain in my back just remembering the beautiful cities of London and Madrid, with taaaaall flights of stairs and overpasses on which I have carried my precious treasure, in his pram, with all the paraphernalia. Finally, the endless parks and waterfronts where you can stroll and ta det lugnt.

There is also a system of öppna förskolor, kindergartens where you come together with your child under the pre-school age, and spend time with other parents and small children. Everyone is saying that they are great, and everyone has been highly recommending me to try one of these ‘open pre-schools’.

I did. I didn’t quite get the point of it (maybe because I am an introvert, or maybe because being surrounded by small children for hours on end drives me a little bit of bananas). In other words, this wasn’t for me. But the other parents seemed very happy: they were happily having fika and chatting at a big table, with kids crawling around, periodically offering the latter ones a bottle or a snack without as much as interrupting their adult conversation. It looked definitely very mysigt and very lugnt.

Förskolor

For the pre-school, you can start queueing from the age of three months (and I recommend doing so), and the child can start at the age of one year.

You can pick five pre-schools of your kommun and rank them in order of preference. It is highly likely, if you queue as early as possible, that you get the school of your first choice, depending a little bit also on how old your child will be when s/he will go to the pre-school.

Our son was slightly older than two, and we got our first preference school just before it was time for him to go there. You can visit the schools, either on an open day which they will advertise, or by appointment, and get a good feel of the place.

The pre-school our son goes to is a föräldrakooperativ. This means praying that it doesn’t snow on ’our’ week (and it often does, and then it’s a 7am clearing of snow and sanding the paths).

It means annual member meetings, autumn cleans and spring cleans of the house and garden, ongoing tasks of fixing and trimming things and pulling out weeds, as well as potentially playing administrative roles. My husband isn’t fully convinced it’s worth it, but I am. Because I leave and pick up my son every day, and I see how happy he is in the pre-school, and what a wonderful job the teachers are doing.

I pay what I consider a small fee (800 SEK) to my kommun. For this fee he gets a great learning environment, the teacher/child ratio of 5/1 (less in the young-age group), one hot meal and a few good snacks.

Prepare the gear

In Sweden, the saying ‘there is no bad weather, only bad clothing’ is taken absolutely literally. I have seen off my child to a picnic in the park in drizzling rain – not completely pouring, but not picnic weather to my mind. The kids are dressed in waterproof everything, from boots to hats to mittens – and glazed in the mud. You get to spend a bit of time and money on the gear, I have to admit – but I love this ‘Viking’ approach.

Summary

This comes from a highly skeptical and pessimistic person – I love parenthood in Sweden. I wish I had grandparents around the corner, where I could drop off my child when I go out on a date, but in the absence of that, I am happy and I consider myself very lucky – at least at this young age.

Without looking ahead and thinking about what kind of challenges of raising a child in a culture different from ours we will encounter, I am glad and I feel very privileged about my experience thus far.

Further reading

For parents:

A website for parents with children of all ages: Little Bear Abroad

About the Author

Tatiana Sokolova is an investigator, collector and classifier of cultures, places, and ways of expression – the very things which often defy classification. She lives in Stockholm with her intercultural family. She is a researcher, a freelancer of various trades, and a little bit a photographer. Also a little bit a writer of short stories, and an aficionada – a lover of flamenco song, guitar, clapping and dance.

Parenthood in Sweden: Expecting a Child

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Written by Tatiana Sokolova

Have you recently moved to Sweden or planning to do so, and wonder what parenthood here will be like? Or have you been living here for a while and are planning to have children? Are you an immigrant parent in Sweden with a young child and wonder what other parents in your situation experience? This article is for you.

two water bottles
Photo by Tatiana Sokolova

My husband and I moved to Sweden soon after our marriage, after having lived in India and Russia. We have friends from almost every culture imaginable, many of whom are parents. What follows is my experience of becoming and being a mother in Sweden for the first three-plus years, and I will try to summarise here the benefits and challenges of it, as compared to other countries/cultures that I’ve experienced.

Before becoming a mother

I always wanted a big(-ger, -gish) family, but when I was faced with the idea of actually having a child, I must admit, I got cold feet. ‘Let’s wait till…’ – what? Till we are more married? More settled? More grown-up? Less selfish? Richer? None of these excuses really worked. I just felt terrified of letting go of a lot of things which constituted my identity and prioritising, for once, someone else.

For some reason, I had this picture in my head that I would give birth in Russia. I was absolutely certain of this. Looking back, I wonder at the tremendous impracticality and irrationality of this idea. But I can explain it: I wanted to be with my family and to have my doctors with me. It was a safety thing. It was scary to become a mother in this foreign country, where everything is so ‘lugnt’ and ‘lagom’.

Disclaimer: What worked for me may not work for others. Parenthood often becomes a sensitive issue, because it deeply engages who we are, what we feel, who we want to become, and how we want to be seen. Everyone’s experience is different, and I have heard dissatisfied and ‘scary’ stories from my fellow newbie (and not-so-newbie) Swedes. I guess I was extremely lucky, although not everything was smooth for me either. Perhaps it isn’t for anyone. The thoughts below are my experience, which you may add to your piggy-bank of considerations, or will at least find (hopefully) a little entertaining.

Pre-pregnancy: Begin to ‘ta det lugnt’ as early as possible

I had experienced difficulties with an early pregnancy, which threw me into a span of depression and self-doubt (and were ultimately an empowering experience for me, but it was hard to see it from this perspective at the time). What I discovered was that it is very difficult to get medical help in Sweden when your situation isn’t ‘critical’. To me, it was. To multiple doctors I visited, it wasn’t. It took me a long time to find a doctor who I really connected to, and who was amazingly present. She was the only one who managed to reassure me that I had very high chances of having a great pregnancy and a healthy child.

The Swedish medical system is based on ‘ta det lugnt’ and ‘ha det lagom’

I was so used to the Russian overreliance on doctors, some kind of medical overhype. Swedes just don’t do it. They don’t go for ‘regular-check-ups-in-case-something’s-wrong-with-me-and-I-don’t-even-know’. They don’t run to the doctor with the smallest difficulty in order to be prescribed medicines and a dozen follow-up visits.

In Russia, that’s what we do. In India, doctors are simply gods. I sometimes feel (and please forgive me if it sounds critical – I’m criticising myself) that it signifies a kind of immaturity. We need the parent who will admonish us, forgive us, put us in bed and give us some cough syrup. I’m not talking about serious issues which put our health in danger, but everything that doesn’t fall into this category (and yes, it’s hard to know).

Swedes are Vikings when it comes to doctors and cough syrups. By default, you are healthy and you don’t need a doctor. Tough it out. Exercise. Eat healthy. ‘Ta det lugnt’. And if you fall ill, advanced medical care is there for you, almost for free (albeit, you’ll have to queue for it… but that’s a separate issue). No-fuss.

And in retrospect, I realise that, in my situation, it was a good approach. At first I perceived the system and the doctors here as cold, impersonal, indifferent. In reality I needed to learn how to myself be calmer, more stable, more self-reliant. How to believe that there wasn’t some problem with me BY DEFAULT. I had, as said, to rewire myself, and it wasn’t easy and it took some well-guided practice and determination.

Barnmorska is your man

As in, your alpha and omega.

Midwives are the central people in the Swedish system of pregnancy, childbirth, and post-natal care. Doctors don’t come anywhere near you, unless you have a serious problem. And then they will appear from thin air, do their thing, and disappear in a puff of smoke.

Barnmorskor are exactly the motherly figures a woman needs at this time of their lives (according to this article, there are male barnmorskas; so fatherly figures also perhaps?). They measure you, hum a little tune while writing down some figures, show you some reassuring graphs on their screens, sip their coffees, and chuckle softly. Seriously though, I think they are great. And they are the embodiment of ‘lugnt’ and ‘lagom’. You will have the same midwife throughout your pregnancy unless for some reason you will want to change the person you are visiting. And she’ll be your best friend (sort of).

Ultrasounds? Lagom är bra!

Don’t expect many of them if your pregnancy is normal. Ta det lugnt. It’s happening. I think I had two.

Well, ok, I had a ‘cheat’ one on top of that – and that’s because I had such terrible nausea that I had to be hospitalised. I was sitting in my barnmorska’s office, after not having eaten or drank anything for about a week, and the smell of her coffee was tantalising. My muscles had probably already begun to disintegrate because I could barely walk – yet she calmly said, hm, yeah, it looks like you need to go to Danderyd pretty much now. After which a long bus journey ensued.

And here the magical doctor system was set in motion – one appeared, did an ultrasound, prescribed me pills so that I could actually hold something down – and disappeared. It was too early for the ultrasound, and I was lying there with the revitalising drip stuck in my vein, utterly relishing my privilege and the excitement of having an irregular ultrasound. I wanted to linger on in the emergency ward – it was so lovely, and my Russian neediness for doctors and reassurance kicked in – but I was unceremoniously chucked out. Even though the ward was nearly empty, I had extended its ‘lagom’ hospital hospitality.

Further reading

Other articles about pregnancy:

First steps when pregnant by The Newbie Guide

Five things to expect when you are expecting by The Newbie Guide

About the Author

Tatiana Sokolova is an investigator, collector and classifier of cultures, places, and ways of expression – the very things which often defy classification. She lives in Stockholm with her intercultural family. She is a researcher, a freelancer of various trades, and a little bit a photographer. Also a little bit a writer of short stories, and an aficionada – a lover of flamenco song, guitar, clapping and dance.

Get to Know Swedish Children’s Book Icons

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Written by Hayu Hamemayu

If you had just moved to Sweden, with small kids, it’s just a matter of time until your kids gushing about Swedish children’s books icons relentlessly. Like me, three years back, you may never have heard some of them. So here I compile the list of Swedish children’s books icons you may need to know to keep up with your kids

Pippi Longstocking (Pippi Långstrump)

Created by Astrid Lindgren in 1945, Pippi Longstocking is probably the most famous and the most celebrated fictional character in Sweden. She is a red-haired, freckled, unconventional and superhumanly strong girl who lives in VillaVillekulla, with her monkey whose name is Mr Nilsson and her horse.

This character draws a long debate among adults due to its strong and unusual personalities, challenging the conventional ideas about how kids should behave. Nevertheless, many people consider Pippi as the symbol of girl power and gender equality.

Pettson and Findus (Pettson och Findus)

An interpretation of the Findus character by my then 7-year-old daughter

Pettson and Findus is a series of children’s books written and illustrated by Swedish author Sven Nordqvist.

This character is an old farmer who lives with his cat, Findus, in a red-painted wooden farmhouse in the Swedish countryside. Pettson can talk to Findus so his neighbors regard him as a bit odd. In the story, Findus is more like a small child as the character dresses in a green-striped costume, wears a cap, and can stand up like a human.

Alfie Atkins (Alfons Åberg)

Another Swedish children book is Alfie Atkins. Gunilla Bergström created this character in 1972. Alfie is an ordinary kid who lives with his father and experiences many everyday problems all kids can relate to. Just like other kids, Alfie imagines things and is longing to grow up like a big boy. For that reason, Alfie often competes with his father (who is a nice and positive man) who can solve everyday problems in the best way.

Bamse

Bamse is another famous Swedish children book. It’s a character of a brown bear created by Rune Andréasson. Thanks to special honey called dunderhonung (literally means thunder honey) from his grandmother, Bamse becomes the world’s strongest and kindest bear that often helps those in need.

Bablarna

Have you ever seen odd-shaped characters in bright colors in a toyshop in Sweden?

Those are Babblarna, a colorful group of characters from Hatten Education. Designed to help children from 0-5 years old in learning language, each Babblarna character speaks its own language which sounds more like a babble. For example, Babba talks Babbish and Diddi talks Diddish. However, it doesn’t stop them from understanding each other.

The Little Ghost Godfrey (Lilla spöket Laban)

Inger and Lasse Sandberg created this Swedish children’s book character, initially to make their son not afraid of ghosts. Just like Casper, Laban is a friendly ghost who does not want to haunt or scare people. He lives in the basement of the castle “Gomorronsol” where he makes friends with the youngest prince.

The Moomin

The Moomin is actually not Swedish, but it is very popular in Sweden.

They are a family of white, round, hippopotamus-like characters. Tove Jansson, a Swedish-speaking Finnish illustrator, wrote these series. The central family consists of Moominpappa, Moominmamma and Moomintroll who live in their house in Moominvalley. In the story, they embark on many adventures along with their various friends.

Hayu Hamemayu is a Lund-based freelance writer whose work has appeared in The Jakarta Post, Media Indonesia, Kompas, Majalah Kartini, and Indonesia Travel Magazine among others. A traveller mommy by nature and random thinker by inclination, she keeps memories in her Instagram @hayuhamemayu and writes her everyday stories in her blog.

Social Ideas for Newbie Parents

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Written by Hayu Hamemayu

I often say to myself, when you’re a parent, life is what happened between fresh brewed coffee in the morning and reheated coffee in the afternoon: you barely have time to enjoy your coffee, decently 😀 Especially when you live away from home, far from the supporting system called family, the struggle is real.

Luckily in Sweden, there are some hang out places that are designed and dedicated for parents so parenting can still be fun. Here are the highlights:

Local library

If you’re new in Sweden and not sure where to go for a day-out with your baby, a library could be a good starting point. The state library in Lund has special section for kids of all ages. There’s this small play area where you can read books with your children and also meet other fellow parents.

 

The library also has baby café and book-reading events for kid in various languages (read more about the events here). The book reading is held in the reading “closet” which is set up nicely and comfy for the parents and the kids.

Open Preschool

In Sweden, due to its generous parental leave, kids are not going to preschool or day care until they turn 1 year old. But, they can join open preschool without registration (just pop up when you feel like it) and it’s free of charge.

There are two open preschools in Lund, Kulan and Söderlek. I go to the first one with my baby and we’re having a really good time there. In Kullan, I get the opportunity to meet and socialise with other adults, while my daughter gets to meet and play with other children. So it’s good for both my kids and me. I can have a social life and talk to those who are on the same boat with me and my kid is enjoyed being surrounded by friends, toys and books.

The open preschool also has interesting activities such as painting and foot or hand casting but the most loved one is the singing section. Most parents come around the singing time (10.30 and 13.30 depending on the day) and leave soon after. That’s the thing about open preschool. We decide when to come and how long we want to stay. We are also responsible for our child(ren) during the stay.

Parents’ Group Play Date

I consider myself lucky because the health centre where I’m registered at provides parent’s group for international parents. We met regularly during the first six months of our postnatal period and I found the meetings were really nice and useful. The scheduled meeting at the health centre has concluded last summer but the parents still continue to meet for a play date every now and then.

If you don’t have parents group at your registered health centre, try online parents groups in your area (such as Facebook Group) or you can use this website to search for local parents group. They often have various activities range from fika to book club.

Barnvagns Bio

I received an invitation to a Barnvagns Bio last June and thought that was a smart solution for parents who want to watch movie without leaving their baby at home.

Barnvagns Bio or stroller cinema is a convenient way to watch cinema in an environment where it is okay for babies to cry 😀 . During the show the sound is muted (or down a bit) and the light is dimmed (instead of completely dark) which is perfect for napping. In the middle of the movie, we take a break for any diaper changes and eating times. Microwave and changing table are available and the stroller is parked outside. Some cinemas even offer coffee. In short, it sounds really cozy.

I haven’t tried it myself but a friend of mine went to one and she loved it. The fact that there’s a break in the middle of the movie and that you can stand up, bounce, rock or even breastfeed if needed, are just perfect for her. And I agree. I’ll definitely go to Barnvagns Bio as it’s already in my soon-to-do list ☺ .

For more information about Barnvagns Bio in Lund, check this and this.

Hayu Hamemayu is a Lund-based freelance writer whose work has appeared in The Jakarta Post, Media Indonesia, Kompas, Majalah Kartini, and Indonesia Travel Magazine among others. A traveller mommy by nature and random thinker by inclination, she keeps memories in her Instagram @hayuhamemayu and writes her everyday stories in her blog.

Adaptive Parenting: Preparing as a parent with a disability

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If you’ve recently learned that you’re expecting, congratulations! If this is your first rodeo and you’ve got a disability that you’re worried could affect your ability to parent, there are plenty of things you can do to ease your transition to parenthood.

Home Preparation

Chances are that if you’ve lived with a disability for a while, you’ve already adapted your home to make life easier. However, trying to bathe a squirmy infant, give a bottle, and carry your little one — especially if you’ve got mobility issues — represents a whole other set of unique challenges.

These suggestions have been curated from a variety of sources, recommended by experts and parents who’ve taken the journey on which you’re about to embark.

  1. Add lighting to your home, and clear all pathways of objects that cause slips, trips, and falls. Use non-slip rugs and mats, especially in the bathroom or other areas with tile floors.

  2. Replace door knobs with handles and faucet knobs with levers.

  3. Install grab bars in the bathroom shower or tub.

  4. Purchase braille or textured tape to label your child’s food to make meal prep easier.

  5. Install cabinet safety locks that work with a magnet release.

Newer homes are built to the universal design specifications, which makes it easier to accommodate older and younger residents — and those with disabilities. This article provides the information you need to know if your home needs more substantive modifications.

Assistive Technology

Assistive technology (AT) includes modified or customized items, equipment, and product systems that help people with disabilities. Thankfully they are many available tools in the world of childcare items. From furniture to adapted clothing, toys, seating, bathing devices and more.

Here are some suggestions for your baby registry:

  • Baby monitors that vibrate and flash; talking baby thermometers.

  • Multiple-use infant slings, trays, seats, and strollers that attach to a wheelchair.

  • A safety belt or parent-child seat belt with different latching options.

  • Devices that help to lift, transfer, carry and hold babies including ones specifically made for a walker that also function as a high chair.

  • A safety harness that provides you with forearm support or a lifting harness that helps you distribute your child’s weight evenly.

  • Car seats and safety belts with specialized release mechanisms to assist those with limited hand strength and dexterity.

  • Bibs with velcro fasteners or rubberized bibs to catch spills.

  • A feeding splint to support your wrist; adaptive feeding spoons, cups, bowls and baby bottles with velcro wraps.

  • Adaptive nursing pillows.

  • Adjustable high chairs that allow you to control the height for feeding or lifting your kiddo that have side-swing trays for easier access.

  • Baby bathtubs with removable slings and contour headrests that you can secure to a movable cart or other surfaces if you’re in a wheelchair; baby bathtubs fitted with a hose.

  • A bath visor to keep soapy water out of your baby’s eyes.

  • Cribs whose entire (or half) side slides sideways to open.

  • Crib gates that slide under the playcare center when it’s opened.

If you’re looking for other specific products, this blog has some great suggestions worth considering.

Setting Up a Support System

Definitely do not shy away from asking for help! When someone offers, accept with gratitude. If you’re asked specifically how someone can help, tell them. And if you’re not sure, ask them for suggestions. Take advantage of someone else’s experiences, because these days — and disabled or not — it does take a village.

Many people want to help, but if you’re given a nebulous “Call if you need anything,” you’re less likely to make a request. Now is not the time to be reluctant to admit that an extra set of hands, a few more meals in the freezer, a cleaning service, or laundry assistance is incredibly welcome!

Parenting with a disability can create a unique set of challenges, but the internet’s made it much easier to find the support you need, whether from friends and family or community organizations. Check out the disabledparenting.com , it offers an extensive resources for new — and experienced — parents and caregivers.

Photo Credit: Pexels.com

Written by Ashley Taylor

Ashley Taylor is a disabled mother of two wonderful, amazing, energetic children. She met her husband, Tom, while doing physical therapy. Tom had suffered a spinal cord injury due to a car accident and uses a wheelchair for mobility. Ashley and Tom knew they wanted children and knew they would have to adapt their lives and home in order to make this dream come true. Ashley is happy to say that they are the proud parents of two healthy, wonderful children and their disabilities haven’t stopped them from leading a happy, fulfilling life.

How To Prepare For Baby’s Arrival When You’re Disabled

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Pregnancy and childbirth can make any new mom nervous, but for disabled parents, the worry can be even greater. However, with proper planning and the right nursery items, you can make your home safe for baby and more convenient for yourself.

What To Prepare Before Baby Comes

For your baby’s arrival, you want to make sure of two things. First, ensure that your home is safe for both you and your child to navigate in addition to standard baby-proofing. Next, you’ll need to think about nursery products and innovations that can help you care for your child whenever he or she is in need.

Modifications In The Home

Statistics from the CDC show that more than 7,000 children and teens age 0-19 died because of unintentional injuries in 2019, and the numbers are high for adults as well. This and other safety concerns are important to consider when you bring home your child. Follow these guidelines from Babycenter.com for traditional baby-proofing safeguards. You may need to take a few extra precautions to adapt your home to your needs, such as:

  • “Remove any loose carpeting or rugs; it can get caught in wheelchair wheels or cause slipping,” and, “Replace door knobs with levers. Door knobs can be difficult for a wheelchair-bound person to turn, but a lever can be easily pushed down,” instructs Angie’s List.
  • The bathroom can be a treacherous area. Install grip bars in the bathroom to help you safely bathe and toilet train your child. You can also replace standard faucets with levered faucets for ease of use.
  • Use non-slip mats and install skid-resistant flooring to help prevent falls and trips.
  • Navigate your home as you would with your baby beforehand to ensure you haven’t missed any hazards.

Setting Up The Nursery

Fortunately, there are some adaptive nursery items that can make your life easier. Here are some ideas:

  • Buy a swivel car seat for your vehicle.
  • You can purchase a side-opening crib for easy access if you are a wheelchair user.
  • Research adjustable-height cribs, bouncers, changing tables, and high chair options. For example, you can purchase a chair that attaches to your dining room table instead of a traditional high chair.
  • Hearing-impaired parents can buy adaptive baby monitors.
  • Use textured tape or braille labels on bottles and baby food if you are visually impaired. You can find more tips and tools in this article from the National Federation of the Blind.
  • If you can’t find a solution you’d like but have an idea in mind, contact the Lurie Institute for Disability Policy to see if they can recommend a resource to take on your project.

Want first-hand advice? You can check out DisabledParenting.com, which has resources, information, and even podcasts that can help you on your journey to parenthood.

Welcoming Home Your Child

The one thing you shouldn’t worry about when bringing home your child is bonding with him or her. You will face challenges, but over time, you’ll learn to resolve any issues that come up when caring for your child. Don’t even worry about buying the “right” adaptive solution. You and your baby will adapt to each other.

In fact, research from the American Psychological Association backs this up: “Mothers developed ingenious baby-care strategies, without the help of adaptive technology,” says infant/family therapist Megan Kirshbaum, PhD, who developed and conducted a groundbreaking study of mothers with physical disabilities.

A new baby can bring joy as well as stress, but with careful planning and modifications, you can create a home that serves you both well.

Written by Ashley Taylor

Ashley Taylor is a disabled mother of two wonderful, amazing, energetic children. She met her husband, Tom, while doing physical therapy. Tom had suffered a spinal cord injury due to a car accident and uses a wheelchair for mobility. Ashley and Tom knew they wanted children and knew they would have to adapt their lives and home in order to make this dream come true. Ashley is happy to say that they are the proud parents of two healthy, wonderful children and their disabilities haven’t stopped them from leading a happy, fulfilling life.

Open Preschools in Sweden: the perfect hangout for you and your baby, toddler or preschooler

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If you are arriving in Sweden with a baby or young child, you will no doubt be keen to find activities to fill their days with almost from the get go.  Sweden’s fantastic network of öppna förskolor (open preschools) can be a wonderful place to start.

Open preschools (sometimes known in English as ‘stay and plays’) are often run by the kommun, but also by Svenska Kyrkan (the Swedish church) or private organisations. They are aimed at babies and children between 0-5 years old, and many have dedicated sessions on their schedule just for babies.

So how does it work?

Once you’ve found the open preschools in your area and found a session to match your child’s age, just show up!

One of the great things about open preschool is that you and your child don’t have to sign up in advance (or even have a personnummer), so it is a great option for newly arrived families, stay-at-home parents and parents on parental leave.

The majority of open preschools follow a similar format.  There will be a play area where your child can explore the toys, books, and arts and crafts with new friends, and somewhere you can get a snack.

A simple fika with bread and butter, cheese, crackers, fruit, milk, juice and coffee is often available, and usually for a very reasonable price, perhaps 20kr. Sometimes the fika is even free for children, and of course, you can always bring food for your child along with you if you prefer.

Imse Vimse Spindel and Bää Bää Vita Lamm

Sångstund or songtime is often a child’s favourite part of open preschool, as they get a chance to join in with new and old favourites (Imse Vimse Spindel and Bää Bää Vita Lamm sound familiar at all?), have a little boogie and shake the odd maracca.

If you yourself are new to learning Swedish and attend open preschool songtimes regularly, you may well find your Swedish vocabulary consists disproportionately of words for farmyard animals, body parts and types of weather in the early days!

For you as a parent to a young child, open preschools can be a lifesaver as you start to settle, establish your life here, get to know people and fill your days.

Many even offer special sessions including baby massage, Swedish conversation practice, first aid, parenting skills and information about applying for preschool. Depending on the season, some open preschools have trips (for example to the forest or local farm), bbqs and summer cafes.

Keep an eye out for the open preschools’ avslutningar – these are special end of term celebrations at Lucia (luciaavslutning) Christmas (julavslutning) and before the summer holidays (sommaravslutning) and usually involve seasonal costumes, songs and baked treats ????

What to do about the language barrier?

Of course, despite open preschools generally being super open and welcoming places, it isn’t always easy to get chatting with other adults when there is a language barrier, even if you share common ground due to similarly aged children.

Going to open preschool armed with a few icebreaker phrase in Swedish can be a good idea to enable you to get into conversations with other if needed. Hur gammal är ditt barn? (How old is your child?) is always a good one, as is Har ni varit här förut? (Have you been here before?).

It can take a few sessions to find the open preschools which suit you and your child best, so visit a few and get the feel of them, and hopefully you will be able to take full advantage of this wonderful resource. Enjoy!

Written by Sarah Campbell

Hej! I’m Sarah. I’m from the UK and I live in Uppsala with my husband and our two children. I am a language teacher and freelance writer, and my husband is a researcher. It was his work with moss (yes, moss!) which brought us to this beautiful country, and we absolutely love it here! Highlights of our life here so far include experiencing the midnight sun in Abisko during an epic Arctic Circle roadtrip, blissful summers in Dalarna, and meeting Sweden’s Crown Princess Victoria (along with Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge!) in Stockholm’s historic Gamla Stan.